The V-word, gateway to clarity.

They said we were friends but I did not feel seen or appreciated being in their presence. I kept asking myself and other friends who knew me well ‘why I won’t let it go. Why do I keep looking for a different result out of the interaction?’ And I came up with some theories that sounded very psychologically plausible. But the basic fundamental truth was that this ‘friendship’ was a distraction from my very important life’s work that I was bringing into fruition. It was something that was using the energy I needed to do something very important. Some might call it a test or a trial, I call it a distraction.

I see this now because in a conversation with my coach on a seemingly unrelated topic, my energy was mighty low, I’m talking Sophia from the Color Purple, low E on the guitar kind of low. So as my coach is asking me what is occurring for me in this moment, I had to decide if I was willing to be vulnerable or to say I don’t know and lead us chasing the wrong suspect. I decided to be v-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l-e. I said to my coach that my energy was low because I had spent time with this person who although we are in name friends, I feel like crap when I am around them. I had been slowly sinking in the quicksand of this feeling the entire afternoon since I left them. And had up to this point mind-over-mattered it, but I knew it was the truth or deception, to myself that is, and I didn’t have time to waste. After speaking the truth of what was bothering me, a wave of clarity came over me and I was able to decide joyfully on some authentic actions that would move me closer to my goal. The instant I ended the call with my coach my chest and shoulders felt buoyed. And I experienced a long forgotten mantra of mine, ‘the truth will give you what you want.’